I’m not one to share things about my personal life but I wrote this in hopes that this is no longer a topic that is left pushed under the rug. Emotional abuse is very real and it’s a topic that should be talked about.
Look me straight in the eye and tell me emotional abuse isn’t real. Do it. I dare you.
Emotional abuse is very much real.
Emotional abuse is very much real. I would know. I put up with it for a little over a year and a half. But why?
Why would someone put up with something so terrible for so long?
That’s the thing. It’s much more complicated then just getting up and leaving.
Not the love that is true love. The love that I thought was real love. The love that I accepted because that’s what I thought I deserved at the time; but wasn’t love at all. Love isn’t lowing your standards because they make you feel so insecure about yourself that you think no one will ever find you attractive, let alone your own self. Love isn’t being told that you can’t hang out with your friends because “I’m taking away our time.” Love isn’t looking me straight in the face and telling me that furthering my education is pointless because women shouldn’t be anything other then wives. Love wasn’t any of these things.
I was young and dumb. Maybe I let all these things happen because he showed interest and for once I felt like I belonged somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, at the beginning I was happy and everything was great. But as time went on, it only got worst. Every fight would somehow be my fault. It was somehow acceptable for him to call me names that someone who claimed to “love you” should never say. I could never just hang out with my friends without him not being there. But it was okay for him to hang out with his. I could never have a conversation with any male even if it was the waiter at a restaurant without him accusing me of flirting or cheating. It was perfectly okay for him to talk to any female he wanted to. Dates turned into him texting girl after girl. But yet somehow me being angry and upset was still my fault because I didn’t give him what he wanted.
He pointed out all my flaws like it was a joke. He told me I was acting too sensitive when I told him it hurt.
He controlled every aspect of my life to the point that he didn’t even like that I would answer my moms text while we where out. If I didn’t answer him within 5 mins he would text me nonstop until I answered because I might be doing something he didn’t approve. Everything I did he had to approve.
I fell deep, into a dark place. I wasn’t happy, I was so far from happy I didn’t even know what that word meant anymore. I changed myself.
Things didn’t work out because “women shouldn’t go to college and try to make a future for themselves”.
It took time to find who I was again. Time to figure out what love really meant. Time to heal.
Looking back, I’m glad things didn’t work out.
I am overall a stronger person now. I know how I should be treated and that I am not an object, I’m a person. I deserves someone who treats me with respect.
Emotional abuse isn’t something to joke up. Emotional abuse is very much real.
So I ask again, tell me emotional abuse isn’t real.
I dare you.